Day 112: Fire And Rain
In March of 2002
after being diagnosed with Mariners Disease
a mother set her house on fire with her two daughters inside
she said, her life was over anyway
6 years later i am still trying to understand
She held fire in her eyes
rain in her heart
burning bushed ribcage
10 commandments whistling in the wind
broken eardrum chimes
is the angel of the forsaken
folded neatly at her ankles
an example of love and mistakes
and how they are never and always the same
Fire is the rapid oxidation of a combustible material releasing heat and light
is the desire to do anything to protect someone from the world
love is just the question
fire is just one of the answers
that is never and always right
is a mother and 2 daughters melting in a burning town house
Hate is what you feel when you don’t know the answer but you do and don’t like it very much.
Love is how you learn to forgive yourself for taking so long to learn.
Forgiveness is a human weakness.
Weakness is what makes us human.
Human is an accumulation of sex and mistakes.
Mistakes make you stronger.
Mistakes help you learn.
Truth is absolutely relative.
Relativity cannot be explained without making a judgment on the absolute.
The absolute does not exist.
If it cannot be explained it must not exist.
Thus, truth does not exist.
Love does not exist.
We are a product of love.
Thus, we do not exist.
I think she found out the answers before the rest of us
and it scared her
i’m not sure if i think she’s selfish
Before she lit the room
i imagine her counting to three
like every suicide divers reminder that there is still a split second before impact
There is still a moment that follows the broken understanding that life
is not just a set of questions and contradictions
there are still choices
we give numbers to trails we haven’t walked upon
and hope we still reach an end
In life we count in threes
stutter at the finality of the pattern.
is there still a way out?
Or maybe she didn’t stutter…
The flame burns
The body melts
If there is an end, then maybe we did exist.
She was wrong.