Fire and Rain






 Day 112: Fire And Rain

In March of 2002

after being diagnosed with Mariners Disease

a mother set her house on fire with her two daughters inside

she said, her life was over anyway

6 years later i am still trying to understand


She held fire in her eyes

rain in her heart

burning bushed ribcage

10 commandments whistling in the wind

broken eardrum chimes


is the angel of the forsaken

her halo

folded neatly at her ankles

an example of love and mistakes

and how they are never and always the same


Fire is the rapid oxidation of a combustible material releasing heat and light


is the desire to do anything to protect someone from the world

love is just the question

fire is just one of the answers

that is never and always right

the combination,

is a mother and 2 daughters melting in a burning town house


Hate is what you feel when you don’t know the answer but you do and don’t like it very much.

Love is how you learn to forgive yourself for taking so long to learn.

Forgiveness is a human weakness.

Weakness is what makes us human.

Human is an accumulation of sex and mistakes.

Mistakes make you stronger.


Mistakes help you learn.


Truth is absolutely relative.

Relativity cannot be explained without making a judgment on the absolute.

The absolute does not exist.

If it cannot be explained it must not exist.

Thus, truth does not exist.

Love does not exist.

We are a product of love.

Thus, we do not exist.


I think she found out the answers before the rest of us

and it scared her

i’m not sure if i think she’s selfish

or genius


Before she lit the room

i imagine her counting to three

like every suicide divers reminder that there is still a split second before impact


There is still a moment that follows the broken understanding that life

is not just a set of questions and contradictions


there are still choices

we give numbers to trails we haven’t walked upon

and hope we still reach an end


In life we count in threes

stutter at the finality of the pattern.






is there still a way out?

Or maybe she didn’t stutter…


The flame burns

The body melts

the story,


If there is an end, then maybe we did exist.


She was wrong.

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